December 17, 2010 at 9:40 am 1 comment

It’s Friday, but with my new shifted schedule I have hit my first ADF Weekend! 🙂  I’m walking as I type this, so I’m being good.. but today is also, as I promised my kids, Cookie Day… so after I’m done being good I am off to be very bad.  I’ll be making batches of sugar cookies, snickerdoodles, almond pound cake and maybe — dare I say it? — Chex mix!

Some personal stuff:

As all of my regular readers know, I am now recently divorced.  A moved out in June, and though the divorce itself was relatively peaceful, we’re still sort of shaking out some of the details.  I figure we’ll be doing that for the next year or so, since each season tends to bring with it some financial or social aspect we hadn’t previously considered.

For the most part, I’m not worried…  On the whole, we’ve both done the right things:  been adults about it, been fair with each other, made What Is Best For The Kids a focus and priority.  They are, after all, the one indisputably good thing that came of our marriage, and the unfortunate true victims of the fallout when it fell apart.  I do think we’re doing okay in this regard, as the kids’ reactions to everything have been normal but not horribly worrying.  They ask questions, they miss whichever parent is not present in the moment, but on the whole they’re reasonably cheerful, doing well in school, being kids.

The hardest thing is doing without them, though.  And right now, I’m facing Christmas next week and not sure what to feel about it.  On one hand, I should be (and am) grateful, because I will actually have my kids for some of the holiday this year.  During the custody negotiations, see, it was decided that I would take the kids for Thanksgiving, and Andy would have them for Christmas.   This sounds either stupid or incredibly nice of me, except that in the past we’ve always spent the actual Christmas holiday with Andy’s family, and celebrated the holiday with my family on some other date.  My mother prizes Thanksgiving over Christmas, so as long as she gets us for Thanksgiving, she doesn’t mind working Christmas in around husband family celebrations.   Not wanting to disrupt everything the kids hold dear, therefore, I agreed that they should spend the holiday with Andy’s family as they always have.  I just won’t be there.

Which makes it all the more incredible and merciful that Andy’s family is holding Christmas at Andy’s brother’s house this year — the brother who lives here, in St. Louis.  That means the kids will stay home with me Christmas eve night, and open their stockings and most of their presents here with me before going to Greg’s for Christmas Brunch and the various celebratory plans there.  I’m incredibly happy about this, because otherwise I’d have been spending the entire holiday alone.  My sisters will be off with their husbands’ families, my parents will be doing whatever they usually do.  My parents are, understandably, very upset with me for divorcing, so I do not expect any sympathetic invitations to their house anyway.   I imagine they would see that as ‘enabling’, as spending the holiday alone is ‘what I get’ for deciding to break up my marriage.

Which probably sounds resentful, but it really isn’t.  I have known my parents for a long time, and I understand their thinking.  Moreover, I’m not sure spending Christmas with them would even be desirable; seems like it could easily be miserable, in fact.  So I’m focusing on being grateful for the time with the kids I do get, and on making plans to keep myself busy for the rest of Christmas Day.

Which brings me to the point of all of this…  that’s an Eating Day, but I don’t really want to go out anywhere.  I’m thinking I’ll just give myself that day to veg out with video games.  I love Zelda and yet I haven’t had a chance to play Spirit Tracks in months.  So maybe I’ll stock up on my favorite foods, gather up my favorite video games and just curl up on the couch for most of the day.  I can think of worse ideas, but to avoid glutting myself into undoing whatever good I’m doing now, I should probably be thinking of healthy favorite foods…




Entry filed under: ADF, Successes. Tags: , , , , , , , .

ADF, Day 3: Keeping Busy… ADF, Day 5: Clothing!

1 Comment

  • 1. Melalvai  |  December 17, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Sounds like a fantastic way to spend Christmas!

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