ADF Day 12: Father’s Day

June 19, 2011 at 5:51 am 1 comment

My family is certifiable sometimes.

Chris works for an local attraction, so his job skews his weekends so that his ‘weekend’ is actually Sunday-Monday instead of Saturday-Sunday like the rest of the world.  All the better to keep the place staffed over the weekend, when they do the most business.  When I worked there, I went through a period where I worked ALL weekend.  That sucked.

But anyway, Sundays are therefore our only mutual day off, and we usually try to make the most of it.  Unfortunately, most family holidays also fall on Sundays, as was the case this weekend.   So sometimes we have to dance around family obligations and just be good about it.  And fortunately, Chris is good about it.  He understands my parents’ feelings about the divorce, and we both concede that for all intents and purposes it was still very recent.  So he’s respectful, allows there to be a distance between him and the rest of my family.  Ideally down the line they’ll relax, but in the meantime I don’t want to stir the pot by doing what Andy did.  He started bringing his girlfriend to church and the kids’ extracurricular activities knowing my family would all be there.  He told my father, “She is in my life now, and you’re just going to have to accept that.”

Considering how they embraced Andy and supported him, the fact that he would take on a girlfriend before we were even divorced and then shove her into their faces like that REALLY did not make him popular with my family.  But Andy is Andy.  He doesn’t really care.

Okay, I didn’t mean to make this about that.  I guess I’m still defensive about dating.  Anyway.

The point is, last week I asked my parents if we had any plans in place for Father’s Day.  There were apparently sketchy plans to have a meal.  Fair enough.  They wanted to know if the kids would be able to come, and I had to regretfully say no, they would naturally be with their own Dad on Father’s Day.   I asked if it would be okay if we came over midweek to swim; we could give Dad his Father’s Day Gifts then.  This was deemed acceptable, so it’s what we planned to do.  Mom asked if I would then not come on Sunday, and I hedged; frankly, if I could get off the hook for that, I’d have rather spent the day at Six Flags with Chris… but I didn’t want to say so, obviously.

Then I guess it was learned that my sister and her husband had planned to go camping all weekend.  I don’t know if this was John’s personal desire or just Kate trying to ingratiate herself with the new pastor and his family, as I understand they were camping together.  Either way, it meant Kate’s family wouldn’t be at my Dad’s Father’s Day meal.  Mom reported to me that Dad was ‘feeling hurt’ that his meal seemed to be such a low priority for everyone and asked again whether I planned to come to the meal myself.  I said, “Then I’ll come.  I don’t want Dad to be hurt.”   It would be just me and my other sister’s family and my parents.  That’s not the end of the world.   No Six Flags, but it WAS Father’s Day and Dad should be a priority given that, right?

So our weeknight swim and visit with my Dad was shared with Kate and her family.  Kate, of course, did me one better by bringing not only gifts but also two pies.

Have I mentioned that getting away from Kate is a big reason why I cannot wait to move away from here?  Yeesh.

Then Saturday I call Mom to ask when the meal is to be and what I can bring for it.  She gets all dodgy and then explains that apparently my other sister’s husband was grumbling that even though he is an ‘active’ father right now, he’s still forced to spend HIS Father’s Day with my parents.  I don’t think he intended for Anna to pass this along to my Mom, but she did… so Mom immediately excused THEM from the meal with my Dad.  That made Anna’s husband feel bad, and they immediately turned around and invited Mom and Dad to eat at THEIR house. This put Mom in a bind, apparently, because they had made a production of guilting me to come over, and I guess maybe Anna and Jason didn’t want me at their meal or something.  I don’t know.   Anna was apparently very hurt that she and Jason were not invited to the midweek party we apparently held without her. >_<  Oh, brother.

Anyway, it would have been a simple matter to let me off the hook and let that be that, but instead Mom tried to ‘make it up to me’ by inviting me to go bowling with them before the meal at Anna and Jason’s.   I agreed, largely because it seemed important to them that I do so, and it was an okay time.  I wish Mom had just left it alone, though, but she slipped me five dollars and pointed out that I could get a pretty good meal at McDonald’s off of the Dollar Menu with that.  I don’t think I actually felt rejected until I realized she was trying to assuage her own guilt for not including me in the evening meal.

So suffice it to say: my family situation is not as bad as it was, but I’m not sure this is better.   :/   Anyway, I’m just sort of venting and this has nothing to do with ADF, so I’m going to close it here. 😉

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

ADF Day 11: Emotional Vegetarianism ADF Day 1: Hello again!

1 Comment

  • 1. Pangie  |  June 21, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Wow, slipped you a five and pointed you toward McDonalds? That’s a slap in the face. 😦 I hope you had a nice dinner with Chris instead!


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