Archive for December, 2012

ADF Day 4: Back on the Treadmill Again…

I have no idea what today will bring, now that I think about it…

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December 17, 2012 at 6:16 am

ADF Day 3: Tragedy and Indulgence

This has been a weekend of dichotomies.  On one hand, there was a terrible shooting in Connecticut (which I have now written out enough times that I now consistently remember to include that second ‘c’) in which twenty small kids of about Lucas’ age were shot and killed by a heavily-armed gunman.  According to current reports, the reason he went there is completely unknown; originally it was reported that his mother was a teacher there, but now they’re saying that was never the case.  I’m not sure why the randomness there makes this even more horrible; I somehow doubt I’d ever know enough about my children’s teachers to predict whether one of their kids was about to lose his mind and do something unthinkable like this.  But I guess it does open the field of possibility wider for whatever false sense of security I might have clinged to otherwise.  I don’t know.

Six adults were also killed in the rampage, including the principal, a school psychologist, a teacher and a full-time sub.  I haven’t figured out what roles the other two played, but it really doesn’t matter; none of these people went to work that day even remotely prepared for what was to come.  According to reports, the shooter had also killed his mother at home, using guns the family owned.  His mother was an avid gun collector and had taught her sons to shoot.

Of course, this has gun control debates flaring up everywhere.  That stuff just makes me weary.

At any rate, this tragic news had its effects on me, as motherhood has imbued me with particularly sharp empathy for anyone who loses a child, especially one so young.  It’s too easy to make the mental leap now from what they must be going through to what such a loss would do to me.   I always joke that the only time I ever feel like I have a lot of kids is while Christmas shopping, but any mother who loses a child feels pretty broken from then on.  It’s not a grief that heals, really.  My sister lost her baby at a week of age, and that baby was one of a set of triplets; she did not have years of memories connected to that child that could spring up uninivited and haunt her, and she had two other babies who needed her besides.  Yet she still cries whenever something brings Ellie to mind.  How much worse it would be to be looking down the weeks ahead toward Christmas with all of the six or seven years’ worth of memories these families have connected with their lost children, to face that agonizing rush of grief every time they think of how those children would have loved this or would have hated that.

And then, of course, this was the weekend of our own family Christmas…

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December 16, 2012 at 4:05 pm

ADF Day 2: The Joy of Luncheoning

So …this luncheon yesterday…  

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December 15, 2012 at 6:26 am

ADF Day ?: Calculations

I know I’ve fallen off the map with respect to blogging, but fortunately that doesn’t mean I’ve fallen off the wagon entirely.  When I started up again, I had let my weight creep up to 207, and at this point it’s at somewhere between 201 and 202. (My scale couldn’t seem to decide this morning; it’s digital and kept flipping back and forth.  Maybe I wasn’t standing still enough.)

To be fair, a five pound loss over however long it’s been is not exactly momentous… but at least it’s evidence that I was working at this somewhat.  I’m going to take that for what it’s worth, because in all genuine frankness, this is just not a time of year that lends itself well to the kind of concentration and time commitment I was able to devote to the effort the last time I did this.  Work life is full of meetings (which inevitably include some kind of pastries) and events, home  life is full of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas and the detritus foods they leave behind.   Those are excuses, I know, but they’re not idle excuses.  Given all of the above, I’ll take my 5-pound loss and hug it and call it good.

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December 14, 2012 at 6:33 am


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